i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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