Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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