Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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