I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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