im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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