Swine flu. Run for my life!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
