There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
