so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
