Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
