your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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