No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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