YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
