i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
