I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
