now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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