He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm bleeding and have questions
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
