Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
