Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
