Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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