Cold hands, warm shart.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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