its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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