Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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