Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
