That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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