New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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