Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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