You're completely useless in the revolution.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
