Got a toothbrush?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
