he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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