Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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