How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize