i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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