I wish I could punch you in the face.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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