Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
