Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
