Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
