come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
