you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
