There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
