if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
