Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
