do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
