i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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