Your dad touched me again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
