im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
