Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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