Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
