I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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