she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
