The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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