Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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