as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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