Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
