I am in a vortex of obligation.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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