You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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