If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
