Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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