Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
