Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
