guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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