If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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