i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize